Dr. Ho

Travels in Yunnan, SouthWest China.

A few miles north of Lijiang there's a charming little village called Baisha.



We entered as most tourists do, into a temple ground that lies at the front. There's not much to say about temples without getting all academic on yah, but this was worth a look for the tranquility it offered after spending a few days in the bustling alleys of Lijiang. Plus there's Naxi murals here, which are different from the usual Buddhist or Taoist ones we see all over China. Lots of animals. As you exit the back of the temple, there's an alley or two full of street vendors, mostly with tourists trinkets.



Push past the hustle to the next street that has a few homes-cum-cafes. You can't miss Dr. Ho's place, with the sign THE MOST ADMIRED MAN.



Dr. Ho, dressed in a white doctor coat and sporting a straggly white beard, came out to great us. Barely introducing himself, he launched right into a lecture about how he was THE MOST ADMIRED MAN, and proceeded to show us an endless stack of media clippings, letters, and official documents that proved his legendary status. He wouldn't stop. His wife brought us some "healthy tea" and I used this break in the action to ask "so, Dr. Ho, what are you so famous for?" He said "yes" and showed us more media -- articles in the New York Times, request letters from the BBC asking for permission to film -- and stacks of personal letters -- "see! this one from Washington DC! This one from Nigeria Africa!" Again we pleaded to get to the reason why he was so legendary. Clearly he wasn't done, and started chatting up how he was big on google, and if we search for "THE MOST ADMIRED MAN" we could find him on "goo-gu-lah" (We've just searched and it seems he's been bumped by George W Bush, which inspired us to pull out the dictionary and double check the meaning of the word "admired"...)



Finally I sort of just walked into the other room and found about 50 large bags full of herbal powders. I told Dr. Ho about how I was worried about my liver from drinking too much and what could he concoct for that. He thumbed through his stacks of hand-written notes. Mom suggested we get him organized with a notebook and filing cabinet, but that would kill the fun. Moms are like that. So Dr. Ho started running around like a mad scientist, scooping spoonfuls of herb powders into a bag, about 30 of them. He told me it was free but I could leave a donation if I could afford to.

Next we asked what would be good for asthma, and Dr. Ho got a little smile on his face and led us to his backyard garden, and pointed to a large marijuana plant. "Really? You smoke that for asthma relief?" No, of course not, you drink it as a tea. We'd like to, but we all agreed it would be unwise to bring it on the plane. Planes are like that.

We gave THE MOST ADMIRED MAN some cash, and took our leave. We were hungry after watching the energetic Dr. Ho run around and do his routine, so we walked around the village a bit and found a pig on a spit ready for lunch. We also enjoyed some pumpkin-corn cake and a "Baisha sandwich" which was like a pita stuff with vegetables and goat cheese.



We took a little walk off the main street, where the lane turns into a path into the gardens behind the homes, and the gardens turn into small fields, until we came to a clearing past the trees -- a large field with a postcard perfect view of YuLong Shan. With a setting like this and a view like that, and guys like Dr. Ho, you can understand where the legend of Shangri-La comes from.



And later we went to the top of that mountain ... you need oxygen tanks when you're up there or you get light-headed.

Eating Bugs at Stone Forest

Stone Forest (ShiLin), near Kunming, Yunnan, southwest China.

I'd been wanting to taste bee larvae, a Yunnan Province delicacy, ever since I heard of it years ago. They take bees nests and cook up the baby larvae, and eat it as a snack or appetizer to a full meal.



It was only our first full day in Yunnan, so I wasn't looking for it, I knew I'd get around to it at some point during the trip. We took a day trip from Kunming to the famous tourist spot the Stone Forest ("ShiLin" in Chinese). I'd seen TV clips and tourist brochures about the Stone Forest, and it just seemed like one of those really cheesy domestic tourist spots, with minority people dressed in colorful costumes, doing those silly dances for geriatric, fluorescent-hat package tour groups. And it is, but it's still a nice attraction. The stone forest is big enough to spend a few days exploring -- well, ok, if you're really into rocks, and I'm not. Geology was by far the most boring subject I had in school. But the Stone Forest was more impressive than I'd expected. Lots of nooks and crannies and crazy shapes and weird formations that are easy and fun to photograph. It was worth an afternoon's amusement at least. And the magical weather that the Kunming area is known for doesn't hurt. Vivid blue skies with playful clouds that cast an ever-changing dance of shadows and lighting conditions.



I usually like to go un-guided when I'm traveling, and because of my expectations, I steered clear of the crowd of eager tour guides dressed up in those ethnic exploitation outfits waiting outside the entrance gate. We were ready to just go in, but when I asked for a map, I was directed towards the hive of guides, where they had a stall selling funny hats, postcards, and a pony you could sit on to take pics with. I told Mom to wait, I'll just be quick and get a map and ignore the guides.



Ten minutes later I was back at the gate with a map and a hired guide. The guides all had remarkably good English -- especially for China -- and good humor. They didn't even try to persuade me into hiring them, which was quite the opposite experience I've had in almost every other major tourist destination the world over. Everyone's a bit more chilled out here in Yunnan.



We were really glad we'd hired our guide. He was patient, and didn't go on talking up a mind-numbing, buzz-killing list of mundane facts and figures. (I remember our guide at the Three Gorges Dam, talking for 2 hours about the measurements and dimensions and raw materials that related to the dam construction -- it was torture!) Nah, this guy was cool and he knew we just wanted to enjoy a carefree walk through the highlights, check out the scenery, and soak up the sun.

After about 3 hours of that we headed back out the front gate, where there's a row of shops and restaurants and tea houses near the parking lot. We did a tea-tasting of Yunnan's specialty "pu er tea" (puer, pu-er, pu-erh, pu'er, whatever) -- which is prized, like red wine, for its ability to age. I've been drinking this stuff for years, from cheap dim sum restaurant pu'er tea, to tastings of the expensive stuff, and I have to admit, I just don't get it. The green stuff is way better, IMHO. The aged stuff tastes like tree bark and dirt.

Then it was time for lunch. Oh boy the options! I've always been a big fan of exotic mushrooms, and Yunnan is known for this. They're not cheap, but the texture and flavor of these are so unique and powerfully delicious, that it's worth the splurge. There are few fresh foods that I've had that really give you a feeling that you're somewhere special, you're somewhere where you have to have this here and now, or never. Yunnan's mushrooms do that for me. Southern Cambodia's durians, in peak season, freshly fallen from the tree, comes to mind as well. Frog Hollow peaches in Northern California. Strawberries in Napa Valley. Fresh dates in Egypt. Tomatoes in Italy... ok ok ok, back to Yunnan.

There was also a magical array of edible flowers and herbs -- banana and pumpkin blossoms, field flowers of various colors, and heaps of green leafy things I'd never seen before.



So we ordered this and that. But let me get to the meaty stuff. There was a selection of bugs and insects and maggots to try. This was the time and place.



I found the honey-comb things I'd seen in the pictures, and was taking my own pictures, when the waitstaff directed me to a shelf that had trays of critters -- some alive, some dead. In the name of Weird Meat research, I ordered all of them.



First came the bees and bee larvae. (More on these on another post, Bee Larvae). These, like all the other insects and bugs we ordered, were fried in salt and pepper, and made for yummy crispy appetizers. We also ate crickets and grasshoppers and caterpillars, and some weird wormy maggot bug that we couldn't get a translation on. These were all delicious snacks, but my favorites were the crickets, reminding me of the crickets I ate in Thailand.



So the bugs were good eatin', but the highlight of the meal were the exotic Yunnan mushrooms that the area is known for. Mushrooms aren't really weird meat, but we had to give them props. If you're into bugs and mushrooms, you've got to read about the worm fungus we ate. Definitely weird, but is it meat?



Yunnan's exotic array of mushrooms

Baby Bee Larvae

Kunming, Yunnan, Southwest China. (Yunnan Province is famous for having several ethnic minority cultures)



We usually do our best to avoid places like this. You know, those restaurants that have a song-and-dance routine, and even worse, these "ethnic exploitation" places where they have these teenagers dress up in "traditional clothing" and lip-sync to obnoxious music. They act out story-dances where the boys enjoy working in the fields, and the girls bat eyelashes (with heavy mascara) and act all hopeless and cutesy. Then, after the "performance," drunken tourists go take pics with the "pretty minority girls"... and try not to notice when the "talent" runs in and out of the dressing room as fast as possible, dressed much better and more normal than the tourists themselves, yakking on mobile disco phones. And no one seems to notice that the food sucks, just like at those revolving hotel restaurants at the top of skyscrapers.



Anyway, we were exhausted when we arrived at our Kunming hotel and this restaurant would have to do tonight. Besides, they had bee larvae on the menu! Baby bees -- yum!



They looked like meal-worms, the kind you feed your pet lizard in science class. Actually fatter than that. We would also like to call them maggots. I like that word, maggots. They, like most other bugs and worms we've eaten, were deep fried with salt and pepper and other spices. Crispy and crunchy, we started chowing down on these like we'd had them a hundred times before, after an initial hesitation, provocative photo ops, and quick swigs of "Super Cool [TM]" beer. What can we say? We liked them. They're yummy little munchies. Eat'm up like popcorn.



Even mom liked them, and I was really proud of her, this being her first real weird meat experience. When I placed the order, she said no. But after a beer and watching me eat them like it ain't nuttin', she picked one up with her chopsticks and gobbled it up. Crunch crunch. Then she ate more.



I'd read somewhere that they have a subtle hint of honey flavor, but I didn't catch that nuance. Maybe there's another preparation where you get that taste?

We also had another local specialty called "Crossing The Bridge Noodles," which isn't weird, but it's tasty.

Hey, did we mention we're in Kunming? This is a cool place. Yunnan Province, Southwest China. Hotels are cheap, like in Thailand. It's famous for spring weather all year round, and what a pleasure that is after living in Shanghai. They actually have blue skies in Kunming! I also read that actor Edward Norton and his posse came here and installed solar energy panels on top of buildings around town. Maybe that'll help keep the skies blue. Actually, I was in a movie with Ed Norton. It's called A Painted Veil, and it was filmed in China. I was merely an extra, and in fact you don't see my face the whole film -- but, the final scene -- after Naomi Watts steps out of the flower shop and into the street, the last shot pans onto me as I turn around and walk off. So, you see my ass, and that's THE END.

Yak in Yunnan

On location in Yunnan, Southwest China.

Mom and I recently had a little vacation in Yunnan Province, Southwest China. It was our first time to the region, and we had such a good time, we're already talking about going back. I'll publish a series of stories about Yunnan's weird meat choices over the next few weeks.



Yucky yak steak.

Yunnan borders Tibet, and there are lots of Tibetan people in the area, so naturally, you can find lots of yak meat and yak butter tea. The first we tried was in Dali's old city -- yak steak at a Tibetan theme guesthouse restaurant. It was sweeter than we expected -- sweeter than beef, and not musky like mutton (we expected it to, but were pleasantly surprised, not being big fans of lamb and mutton). This yak steak was tenderized to a flaccid pulp and we shared the leftovers with many of the cute puppies whimpering about. (What is it with Dali and Lijiang -- everyone seems to have a brand new puppy, and they're the most irresistibly cute doggies we've seen anywhere.) We didn't see any on the menu, so we can't tell you if they are as delicious as they are cute.



Little puppy wants some yak scraps.

Next day, before a gorgeous trip up the mountain overlooking Dali and Erhu lake, we had our first yak butter tea. I'm not sure how authentic this one was, but it was by far our favorite of all the yak butter teas we'd try over the next week. It was frothed up like a creamy cappuccino, with sweet-spicy tea (like Indian chai), and yak milk and butter blended into a expertly balanced flavor. Mmmm. One of the culinary highlights of our trip.



Fancy yuppie yak butter tea with frothy yak milk.

Lijiang is further into yak country, so we had the more authentic stuff here. We started with a fine little meal at the infamously named "Flourishing Sanck" [sic] near the village square, which features such chinglish menu doozies as "Potato The Crap". We ordered the stir-fried yak with celery, which was great, and so much better than that sad excuse for a yak steak in Dali. And we ordered the "small pot" of the yak butter tea. This turned out to be an enormous pot enough for 10 people. Completely different from that sophisticated concoction in Dali, this was the real stuff, with a strong yakky-butter smell, and no creaminess. We still liked it, and didn't find it as off-putting as many tourists complain about, but we admit liking the yuppie one better.



Welcome to Flourishing Sanck!

Exploring the charming cobbled-laned village of Lijiang, we found several shacks selling yak jerkies and various dried yak meats. We tasted a lot of these and found them scrumptious.



The spicy fatty one made a nice snack on top of the Jade Snow Mountain. The area around here -- you can see why they're claiming it as the mythical inspiration for Shangri-La. Naxi-Dongba culture is unique -- claims to be the world's only surviving matriarchal society, and the only pictographic language -- and there's an incredible range of herbs, edible plants and mushrooms and flowers.



Atop Jade Snow Mountain (YuLong Shan) north of Lijiang, near Tibet.




Mom, did you fart? Or is that the yak butter tea?