Baby Bee Larvae

Kunming, Yunnan, Southwest China. (Yunnan Province is famous for having several ethnic minority cultures)



We usually do our best to avoid places like this. You know, those restaurants that have a song-and-dance routine, and even worse, these "ethnic exploitation" places where they have these teenagers dress up in "traditional clothing" and lip-sync to obnoxious music. They act out story-dances where the boys enjoy working in the fields, and the girls bat eyelashes (with heavy mascara) and act all hopeless and cutesy. Then, after the "performance," drunken tourists go take pics with the "pretty minority girls"... and try not to notice when the "talent" runs in and out of the dressing room as fast as possible, dressed much better and more normal than the tourists themselves, yakking on mobile disco phones. And no one seems to notice that the food sucks, just like at those revolving hotel restaurants at the top of skyscrapers.



Anyway, we were exhausted when we arrived at our Kunming hotel and this restaurant would have to do tonight. Besides, they had bee larvae on the menu! Baby bees -- yum!



They looked like meal-worms, the kind you feed your pet lizard in science class. Actually fatter than that. We would also like to call them maggots. I like that word, maggots. They, like most other bugs and worms we've eaten, were deep fried with salt and pepper and other spices. Crispy and crunchy, we started chowing down on these like we'd had them a hundred times before, after an initial hesitation, provocative photo ops, and quick swigs of "Super Cool [TM]" beer. What can we say? We liked them. They're yummy little munchies. Eat'm up like popcorn.



Even mom liked them, and I was really proud of her, this being her first real weird meat experience. When I placed the order, she said no. But after a beer and watching me eat them like it ain't nuttin', she picked one up with her chopsticks and gobbled it up. Crunch crunch. Then she ate more.



I'd read somewhere that they have a subtle hint of honey flavor, but I didn't catch that nuance. Maybe there's another preparation where you get that taste?

We also had another local specialty called "Crossing The Bridge Noodles," which isn't weird, but it's tasty.

Hey, did we mention we're in Kunming? This is a cool place. Yunnan Province, Southwest China. Hotels are cheap, like in Thailand. It's famous for spring weather all year round, and what a pleasure that is after living in Shanghai. They actually have blue skies in Kunming! I also read that actor Edward Norton and his posse came here and installed solar energy panels on top of buildings around town. Maybe that'll help keep the skies blue. Actually, I was in a movie with Ed Norton. It's called A Painted Veil, and it was filmed in China. I was merely an extra, and in fact you don't see my face the whole film -- but, the final scene -- after Naomi Watts steps out of the flower shop and into the street, the last shot pans onto me as I turn around and walk off. So, you see my ass, and that's THE END.