Vegetarian Meat

I guess this would qualify as weird meat to most people, at least those outside of Asia. Even some long-time vegetarians in Western countries have little experience with "fake meat." I've had it countless times, and in so many various forms, I could not list them all.

Tofu is quite common in America now, I believe most people know what it is. It's a popular meat substitute for vegetarians and health-concious eaters, especially in California. It's got protein, which you need to survive and function as a healthy human being. So a lot of food products in America are using various derivatives of tofu, from sandwiches to pizza, from fake hamburgers and hot dogs to Tofurky -- a fake turkey popular at vegan Thanksgiving dinners in Berkeley. (Ok, yeah, I'm tired of the Berkeley jokes too, I'll stop there). There's also tofu yogurt and ice cream and 'cheese'cake. I used to be quite fond of Tofutti -- tofu-based, non-dairy ice cream sandwiches made for lactose intolerant Jews -- but I read the ingredients had hydrogenated vegetable oil (awful for Jews, and everyone, actually).

But tofu is not usually a "meat-substitute" in Asia. That's a Western notion. In China, tofu is usually served with meat sauce all over it, or stuffed inside. In the west, tofu is almost always served to vegetarians only, and never with real meat in the same dish.

Just like with any kind of food, there is good fake meat, and bad fake meat. The best I've had was at a vegetarian-Vietnamese restaurant in the Tenderloin in San Francisco. Golden Era it's called. If you're there, check it out. The fake beef soup is quite convincing. I'm also fond of Vegetarian Life Style in Shanghai (3 locations) -- they have a huge menu full of all kinds of esoteric fake meats, and it's all quite good. Perhaps the most curious item is the Wuxi spare ribs -- they look like the real thing and even have a fake bone in the middle!

Vegetarian "meat" is a centuries-old tradition in East Asia. In countries like China, Japan, Thailand, etc., Buddhist vegetarians have kept alive a special cuisine that resembles real animal meat -- made from soybeans, wheat gluten, and other non-animal sources. Originally made as a special cuisine in Buddhist monasteries, it's now available at all vegetarian restaurants and shops, and there's usually a few fake meat items on most large restaurant menus in China.

I've had fake goose skin, fake bbq chicken, fake fish, fake shrimp, fake offal meats like kidney, and fake spare ribs complete with fake bones made from a starchy vegetable. When I say "fake" I mean "vegetarian." But only in the kindest way ;)

Often the fake meat has been formed into the shape, texture, color, and flavor of the real thing. The stuff found at most American health food stores is usually quite bad -- obviously formed from reconstituted powder, with little imagination. The vegetarian meat I've found at shops in Asia or Chinatowns can be quite delicious and satisfying, and charmingly creative in appearance.